Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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