I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize