why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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