i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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