Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
