it was like his penis was on wheels.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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