My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
