Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
