Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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