If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
