I hate all girls vehemently.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
