I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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