He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
