i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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