Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
