I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
