She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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