I can tuck mytits in my pants
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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