'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
