and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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