I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize