Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
