Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
