i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
