Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
