Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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