i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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