The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
