I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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