This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
