my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
