Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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