She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize