Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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