I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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