I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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