she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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