this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
