I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
