omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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