hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
