I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize