as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize