You made me cry and you don't even care
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
