can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
