Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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