Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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