Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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