sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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