I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
