i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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