I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
