Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Damn victory sex feels great
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
