K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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