i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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