So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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