So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
