so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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