THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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