I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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