I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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