He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
