my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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