Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
