the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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